If you have ever read any Buddhist sutras translated to English, you will recognize the title structure: “Thus I have heard…”
Zombie apocalypse cleaning day: making the kitchen shine for no one but ourselves.
After TC and I cleaned the kitchen and reorganized gear for five hours straight, I did some yoga and laundry, then it was pizza and vice cream time.
The pizza crust is from my Easter Za post, a half recipe (I forgot that and made the full amount, which is equal to two pizzas; the rest of it will become breadsticks or something). With a belated wedding gift/birthday present for Sur la Table (“Sur la Slob,” says TC), TC and I got the ice cream drum attachment for the KitchenAid, a cooling rack (whyyyy did I ever get rid of my cooling rack when I moved?!), a French fry-cutter, and a pizza stone. We used two gadgets tonight, the ice cream maker and the stone.
The pizza itself is nothing revolutionary. Since we had nothing except cheeze and flour for a proper pizza, TC made sauce from several cans of organic tomato paste, garlic, onion, agave, and spices (all to taste, basically). I attempted to pan-fry some scallions, and TC suggested we cut up some woody apples to contrast with the cheezes (real cheese for him; Daiya mozzarella for me).
Delicious! Tart apples on pizza rock! What crust magic the stone makes!
Then there was vice cream. (Vegan ice cream = vice cream. Banana ice cream = nice cream. There is a difference.)
I made this recipe from the Kitchn, with the following modifications: 1 can lite coconut milk and 1 can coconut cream, tapioca starch instead of cornstarch in the same amount, and agave nectar for sweetener.
Make the custard…
Yet another vegan dessert that has, in its non-“set” state, the texture of human male ejaculate. You have been warned! (Other sweets with that unique viscosity include vegan “Twinkies” filling and the supernatural frosting from Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World.) Putting the “vice” in vice cream since…OK, I’m going to stop there.
When churned and frozen, this vice cream has the texture and taste of a fresh, slightly-melty pint of Luna and Larry’s Coconut Bliss coconut-based, agave-sweetened vice cream. Now I can make a pistachio vice cream since none of the major manufacturers make that flavour!
Videre licet, mine with (organic, natural, hipster blah blah) cherry pie filling:
TC’s with (organic, natural, &c.) crushed candy cane:
I foresee some pizzelle cones in the future!